Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: This is Be Better Than youn BS with Resha Grint. And around here, we get rid of the BS game. Changing women. Raw stories. Real truth about what it takes to lead, win, and stay sane in the process. If you've ever had to fight for your seat at the table, this space is for you. This is now media television.
What's up, everybody? Welcome to my show, Be Better Than youn bs. Life and business are about more than titles and wins. This, they're about how you show up and the culture you create around you. Sports taught me that early. Discipline, teamwork, and knowing how to pivot under pressure. And that's why I do this show. It's your girl, Reisha Grant, the people's champ. And I am here to bring you real conversations with leaders, change makers, and everyday people who are shaping culture in powerful ways. Today's guest is all about turning resilience into power. Tameka Jones is a proud Air Force veteran, nurse, empowerment coach, and the founder of Flawless Life Coaching. She's helping women build confidence, embrace self love, and create lives they're proud to live. From the uniform to the boardroom, Tameka's journey proves that strength and softness can coexist and both can win.
Tameka, thank you so much for being on the show today.
[00:01:20] Speaker B: Thank you for having me, Reisha.
[00:01:22] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:01:22] Speaker B: Glad to be here.
[00:01:24] Speaker A: I'm looking forward to this. So you have gone from serving your country to serving women through transformation. What was the moment that shifted your mission from military to empowerment?
[00:01:36] Speaker B: So from service to sisterhood.
[00:01:38] Speaker A: Yes, I love that.
[00:01:40] Speaker B: I retired back in 2022 from the air Force, and when I retired, I went on this whole self love, who is Tameka Journey. Right.
So that was the catalyst of birthing Flawless Life Coaching. Right.
My mission in the military was simple, right? To serve a nation. Right. And for coaching, right. My mission is to serve women, empower women with the tool, tools and with the tools and also the mindset. Right. That they need to actually create the results and abundance they deserve in life and also desire in life.
[00:02:16] Speaker A: How different is it though? I mean, military. I have so much respect for military people and what you all go through from a physical and mental perspective. Do you think it's something that prepared you for business? Because there's also a lot of challenges within business.
So was there any parallels there for you?
[00:02:34] Speaker B: I think yes and no.
Yes. It prepared me. The whole resilience, the discipline, the whole.
Selfless. Right. Because the pillars of the Air Force. Right.
The mission of the Air Force or the values of the Air Force it serves before self, excellence in all we do, and integrity first. Right? So those three pillars is the. The interwoven into flawless life coaching, right? So I took those, right? Service before self, excellence and all that I do, and also integrity first. And I built that in my coaching business, and that's how I empower women on those three pillars.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: Okay, explain those pillars to me a little bit, because I know that we just talked about how your experience in the military shaped that. So explain those pillars a little bit. If I am coming to you, you know, as somebody who needs coaching, what. How do you take me through that?
[00:03:37] Speaker B: So Air Force core values, integrity first. Right? So you have to lead with integrity in all things, even in leadership, as a parent, as a spouse, all things, right? You have to lead with integrity because if you trust yourself, others will trust you and follow you.
So integrity first, service before self. I think service is in my DNA. Hence why I joined the military, why I became a nurse, and also why I empower women.
You gotta serve, right.
You gotta have that gratitude and that attitude of service. Right?
So I lead with that as well. And then excellence in all we do. Right? And you're the epitome of excellence. Right?
Excellence in all we do. We have to lead with excellence. Right.
That striving for perfection will never be perfect, of course, but we're striving for it. And that's kind of what I help my clients to become, right? To develop a purpose. Right. Find your passion.
Because when I was in the military, I retrained several times, trying to figure out, what do I love, what do I want to do, how do I want to help people?
I knew I wanted to serve, but I just didn't know what magnitude of service I wanted to give back.
[00:04:56] Speaker A: Yeah, I think we should all be in service to each other. I think the world would be just a better place if we approach life with service in mind. So I know as a nurse, you care for people's health, and as a coach, you now help care for their spirit. How do those worlds intersect for you?
[00:05:14] Speaker B: So it's perfectly right because you're basically healing the mind and body spirit.
So purpose is still serving, it's still service.
And I feel that mindset. I feel that mindset is key both in nursing and in coaching, right? So you gotta have the mindset in order to heal and to help that person and to believe and know that you have all the tools to be able to heal and help that person. Same with coaching. Right.
The power of healing. Right. And empowering that woman that Female that the person in front of you empowering them to know that whatever they think and they believe they can create, right? They just have to believe it. So if you come with a negative mindset or limiting beliefs and fears, right, that's what you're going to create and that's what you're going to put out to the world and vice versa.
[00:06:10] Speaker A: How do you really get around that? Because you know, we hear people say it all the time. I say it and I truly believe it. If I can see it, I can be it and all of the things. But there are very real things that people are experiencing, very real things that they're going through and they can't see through tomorrow, much less what the, the five years that it's going to take to build this. So how do you really move somebody from that space of that self limiting belief? Because I it, it's difficult. I know when in my, in my most difficult times, I gosh, the mental gymnastics that, that I have to do to stay in that space. So how do you coach through that?
[00:06:48] Speaker B: So I actually have a flaws method that I created that helped women navigate through all those doubts, self fear, those fears, self sabotage and boundaries, setting boundaries. So we go through it's called flaws flaws method. F L A W S Face your fears, love yourself, accept and approve of who you are, work on your struggles and then five, four, three, two, one step into your purpose.
But to answer your question, you just have to take one day at a time, right? And what helped me was affirming every day when I wake up, right? Who I am, who am I becoming? Affirming those things, right? And not just saying them. Because like you said, we can say things all day long, but if we don't believe it and truly become it and truly feel it. And feeling is the key, Feeling is the key, right? And believing is the key that you can become and do whatever it is you set your mind to doing and become. For me it was public speaking. I struggled, I struggled, right? And I had to go back and do the why's behind that. My mom grew up in the south, right? And all my life I heard was go to class, don't cause no smoke, sit in the back of the class, don't be seen, don't be heard. So I kind of live my life as such. Even in the military, I kind of live my life as such, follow the rules, take orders and execute the mission, right?
So after retirement on this self love journey, I'm like, no, I do have a voice. I do have A voice, right? So public speaking was. And sometimes still my fear, right? Like you said, fear does creep in, but when it comes in, you just have to swat it away and know that you are built for more.
[00:08:32] Speaker A: Well, I love that you bring in all the smoke now because the world needs it, women need it. And you know, I am like the BS finder. So what personal BS did you have to break down to step into who you are today?
[00:08:51] Speaker B: So for me, I had to silence that doubt, right? That, oh, I can't speak the words doesn't come up, right? You know, I'm that country twang or that whatever, right? I had to silence that doubt, right? And those fears and the false narrative that I painted, right? Oh, I hate my birthmark. I've never worn a swimsuit or a tank top in public because of the darker pigmentation on my chest, neck and back, right?
So once again, my self love journey said, no, you're you, right? You're unique. Your alopecia, your lazy eye, all the things, right? Makes Tameka. Tameka, right?
Love who you are. Love who you are and embrace it, right? And so the biggest takeaway for me, the personal BS that I had to break down was get out of my own way. Get out of my own way.
[00:09:40] Speaker A: And I think that's it for all of us is if we can get out of our own way and even see ourselves the way others see us, it would be so amazing for our self esteem, for our confidence, for what we bring to the world and share with other people. So I love that you went through that journey.
So who poured into you at a time when you didn't fully believe in yourself yet? Who was that person?
[00:10:05] Speaker B: I would say my brother.
And I remember a time where, well, he saw my worth before I even realized my worth. And back in 97, we lived in Carolina, North Myrtle beach, and I got accepted to Bethune Cookman College in Daytona Beach, Florida.
And he drove me all the way from South Carolina to Florida, right?
And he said, you can do this, right? But he had to do a quick turn and burn because he had to go back to work that night, right? And it was eight hours, eight, nine hours that he took me to, you know, my orientation. He couldn't stay, but he handed me $20 and he said, you got this. You got this. I believe in you. You got this, right?
[00:10:48] Speaker A: You need those people in your life. Yeah.
They are so important.
And I think when we're in those moments of just really like, I don't think I can make it. You remember the People that believed in you to push you over the line.
[00:11:01] Speaker B: Yes.
So, yeah.
[00:11:03] Speaker A: So how has your personal culture evolved from your military and nursing chapters to coaching? Now, when I say personal culture, I'm talking about the energy you bring into the room and the impact that you leave behind.
[00:11:17] Speaker B: My culture evolved, I feel from survival mode. Right. Survival. To sacred self expression. Being able to express myself. Right. And be my true authentic self. Whatever that looks like for me. Right. Walking in a room and owning it and knowing, hey, this is the impact I'm going to give the world. Right. It's not for everybody. Right. But it's for who needs it. Right. I bring the light, the faith and confidence.
[00:11:43] Speaker A: Yes. I tell everybody you don't need the whole world to be into what you're doing. You just need to find your tribe and when you find your tribe and that tribe supports you and you can support them with what they need, that's exactly who you're supposed to reach.
[00:11:58] Speaker B: Yes, I agree.
[00:12:00] Speaker A: Love that. Well, we will be right back with Tameka Jones and we're gonna dive into the big plays and the pivots that shaped her career.
Hold up. We're just getting started. More truth, more strategy and less bs. Coming up next on Be Better Than youn BS right here on NOW Media Television.
This is Be Better Than youn BS with Resha Grant. And around here we get rid of the bs.
Welcome back to Be Better Than youn bs. Want more of what you're watching? Stay connected to be better than your BS in every NOW Media TV favorite, live or on demand anytime you like. Download the free Now Media TV app on Roku or iOS and unlock nonstop bilingual programming in English and Spanish on the move. You can also catch the podcast right from our website at www.nowmedia.tv. from business and news to lifestyle culture and beyond, now Media TV is streaming around the clock. Ready whenever you are. I'm here with life coach Tameka Jones and now we're talking about the defining moves and that changed the game in her career from the military to owning her own business. Tameka, through your coaching, you help women overcome the self doubt that we were talking about earlier. What's one of the most common mindset blocks you see holding women back?
[00:13:24] Speaker B: I would definitely say that one of the main mindset blocks is I'm not enough. Right. I'm not worthy enough for that relationship or for that job or for any type of career move. Right. I'm not worthy enough or I'm not enough. Right. And that lie keep women stuck and sometimes safe. Right, yes. And it's like I compare to a T shirt. Right. An ugly T shirt. Right.
One of my clients, for an example, she.
That was one of her mental blocks. I'm not worthy enough. Right. And we're doing the work and come to find out her auntie, years ago, when she was a little girl, you know, would tell her, she's ugly. You're not beautiful, you're not. You'll never have a husband, you'll never have a career. So that stayed with her. Right. She wore this T shirt, ugly T shirt that her aunt gave her years ago when she was a little girl. And she wore it. Right?
[00:14:21] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
[00:14:22] Speaker B: So we did the work and I'm like, you have a choice. Take it off. It's not your T shirt. It doesn't belong to you.
[00:14:27] Speaker A: It does not fit.
[00:14:28] Speaker B: You are worthy. You are enough.
[00:14:30] Speaker A: Yes. I love that so much. And I'm so big on empowerment because there's so much negativity coming, coming at us on a daily basis. And with the Internet, it feels like that is quadrupled into infinity, you know, level of, of negativity. And so social media, there's so much comparison. Have you seen in your work that with the advent of social media and the level of comparison and you know, of course, I think social media is mainly a lie in the sense that people are putting all the good stuff up there.
You know, it's very rare that you see, see the authenticity. Are you seeing social media have any impact in how your women are showing up for themselves or feeling about themselves?
[00:15:14] Speaker B: I think so. Even, Even with the younger generation, some of the small, small, younger women see things on social media and think that it's real, it's a reality. Right.
And vice versa. They see the negative that the girls who, you know, showing their best self. Right. But not showing how they got there or who they truly are. Right. And that affects self esteem. So, yeah, you see it more and more now than ever.
[00:15:45] Speaker A: And it's so easy to get caught up in. I know better. And there are times I can look at something and especially in the midst of building my business, and it was like, how did this person just start their business two months ago and land a six figure contract? And I've been trying to do it for 10 years and learn and haven't gotten that six figure contract yet. But the backstory, when you sit down and talk to somebody, it's like, we know your glory, but we don't know your story.
[00:16:15] Speaker B: And that comparison trap, it's a trap.
[00:16:17] Speaker A: It is a trap. And this one, I know someone who literally just had to get off social because of what it was doing to their mental state. To see people, even when you know this is not really what it is, you know, it's so hard to separate the two.
Your military background gave you a unique edge. So how does that discipline play into who you are today and what you do in your business?
[00:16:45] Speaker B: So discipline turns vision. Turn my vision into basically a lifestyle, right? Because any type of consistency, birth, transformation. So if you continue to do the same thing over and over, we're talking about positive things and we can give an example about working out. Right? You discipline yourself every morning, get up at 5 o' clock every morning, which I started back doing. I haven't done it in a while, but I started that working out. So, yeah, working out. Me getting up every morning and working out and putting in the discipline. Right? To work out. Right. Turn into. To a lifestyle.
You can say the same thing with my pillars of flawless self love, confidence and resilience. Right. Resilience is having the ability to get up every time right when you fall. Right.
That's a discipline, a form of discipline, right?
[00:17:31] Speaker A: Yeah. That's what I was about to ask you. When you're in the military, do you stay disciplined? But you say, I just got back to working out. Because it is really. I think sports is like that too.
The level of discipline. And it was the whole getting up at 5am and running all these miles and doing this stuff that I think when you get out of it, you're like, I gotta go sit down somewhere and chill out. But different points in your life, you come back to it.
[00:17:56] Speaker B: So, yes, Resha, I'm late for everything on purpose, right? Because in the military, if you're on time, you're late 15 minutes early to everything. And I'm like, yeah, now it's like I'm late for everything sometimes on purpose.
[00:18:11] Speaker A: But, oh, man, I'm sure that's good and bad, but, yeah, you have to take something back. You know, that's. Yeah, yeah. I always say if I have to run another suicide in my life, it'll be too soon. Like, I just am over it.
So how do you guide clients who are successful on the outside but still struggling on the inside? Because, you know, you can be as. Gosh, I mean, you can have it all. People look at you and they're like, you got it all. But you know, when that person is at home by themselves, you said earlier the level of feeling like they're unworthy. So how do you help with that?
[00:18:52] Speaker B: I sit with them through it. Right. And I ask one of the questions I do ask them is, who are you becoming? What are your passions? What do you love? Right. What do you love?
What are some of the things that you can do that will get you from point A to point B? We're not even talking about Z. We're just talking about B. Right. And just starting there. Right. And sometimes, many times I see women, they're scared to step out on faith or just step out, period, based on environmental factors, internal fears, the whole nine. Right.
They're scared. Right. But just taking that first step and just doing it. Scared, whatever. Even if it's a baby step, just taking that step, but do it scared, right?
[00:19:41] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:19:42] Speaker B: It's like my first speaking event. Right. I was nervous, scared. I just did it. I did it. I did it. Scared.
[00:19:49] Speaker A: Yeah. I would say speaking. Go ahead. I'm sorry.
[00:19:53] Speaker B: No, no, no. But sometimes, yeah, like I said, you just have to. Have to do it. Scared.
And the success sometimes is we fear that as well, because we don't know what that looks like. We know what we want, but we don't know what it looked like. And then we don't know how to get there.
[00:20:07] Speaker A: And everybody has a different definition of success.
And I think for a lot of people, we take the definition that's in the dictionary, and this is what success is supposed to look like. A nice car. We have a house, a job, vacationing, and all of those things. But I think that anybody should sit down and understand what success means to them, because what it means to the outside doesn't mean that that's what it means for you. Maybe it's not a new car or a nice car, and maybe it's just that you're able to do things with your kids and, yeah, whatever it is.
But we always feel like we've fallen short because we've never decided what exactly does success look like for me.
So I think it's so important to have your own definition of that.
[00:20:57] Speaker B: I agree. I agree.
[00:20:59] Speaker A: Let's talk about fashion a little bit. So, I mean, you had this fashion line, and fashion and empowerment, like, those aren't things that you typically see paired. I mean, to some degree, because I have some killer T shirts that I think are fashionable, but they're still out here giving. I have a shirt that I wear through the airport. It says, girl, you got this. And every woman that I pass are, like, giving me thumbs up when they're saying something about it. So how does flawless fashion Amplify your message of confidence and self worth.
[00:21:30] Speaker B: So Flawless Fashion Company is just wearable confidence, right? Style meets self worth, right?
And like I was telling you before, I started Flawless Fashion Company based upon my own fears, right?
So that's how that was birthed out of my own fears. But when I had the download of the name Flawless, right? Everything Flawless, Flawless Life coaching, Flawless Fashion, all the things, right? But that inspired download, Flawless came from my flaws, right? And from, From.
From a different space, right? Because the world tell us Flawless flaws. You have to be something aesthetically Beautiful, right? The JLo's, the Beyonce's, the Celine Dion's. But my Flawless is self love, confidence and resilience. Walking in your own truth and being the best version of you, Whatever that looks like for you. So that's how Flawless the word flawless came about.
But my empowerment apparel is just what it is. I was in the airport and I had on one of my T shirts. It's the I am affirmation T shirt. I am bold, powerful, spiritual, Flawless. All the things, right? And this woman walked past me and she walked back past me and she walked past me again and she started crying, right? And she said, oh my God, I really needed to see this today. You know, I just got a divorce. You know, I think it was last week or something like that. It was recent divorce and she lost the child within the last eight months and she just was going through it. And for me, that did something for me just to know that my apparel has a impact, right? A positive impact on someone, you know, that's the game changer.
[00:23:12] Speaker A: Yeah, it's everything. I mean, quite honestly, you can be having a really bad day and walk past someone and see something like that and it just, it might even just maybe it's just a smile and you haven't smiled all day. You know, it, it matters. And I think we have to constantly encourage people, constantly encourage each other. I always tell people you can be talking to someone or meeting them on the worst day of their life. You have no idea.
And so showing empathy, encouragement, empowerment, all of those things are. They go such a long way.
Coming up next, Tameka, before we move on, where can people go to connect with you and learn more about your business?
[00:23:51] Speaker B: Www.flawlesslifecoaching.com that's my website. And in social media, I'm on all platforms.
LinkedIn, I'm on Facebook and also Instagram. Flawless Life Coaching.
[00:24:05] Speaker A: Okay, y'. All, we will be right back. Up next, reflections, lessons and the truths Tameka carries as her dadgummit okay, we'll be right back. Up next, reflections, lessons and the truths Tameka carries about her as an entrepreneur. Hold up, we're just getting started. More truth, more strategy and less bs. Coming up next on Be Better Than youn BS right here on NOW Media Television.
This is Be Better Than youn BS with Resha Grant. And around here, we get rid of the bs.
Welcome back to Be Better Than your bs. We've talked about the beginnings and the big plays. Now it's time to reflect on the post game. What are the wins, the lessons and yes, even the struggles that still shape you today. So looking back over your journey, what's been the most transformational lesson for you personally?
[00:25:02] Speaker B: That transformation begins when obedient replaces that fear. Right?
Stepping out and doing what you're called to do. Right? And even if you don't know what you're called to do, a lot of times we struggle with that. I have a friend right now, he's retiring. He's like, I don't know what I like doing. I'm nervous, I'm scared. I don't know what my passion is. I'm like, what do you love? What do you love?
[00:25:23] Speaker A: Right?
[00:25:24] Speaker B: So faith without works is dead, right?
[00:25:26] Speaker A: Yeah. So true.
So true. I am truly hoping when I get to retirement age that I actually know how to retire, which is going to sit down somewhere. I am so everybody I know, they don't retire, right? I don't. I a mentor of mine, she had this amazing business, she owned this car dealership and all this stuff. And then she goes and builds eight condo, high rise condo. I'm like, that's not called retirement.
So anyway, that's just a side note. I hope I can learn from everybody else how to actually retire. What's a moment with the client that confirmed for you this is exactly why I do what I do.
[00:26:05] Speaker B: Yes.
Watching women finally say, I am enough. Right. I can do this. Right. I was born to do this.
And watching someone step into their power, right? And then be able to take up space, you know, walk in a room and command attention like, yes, I'm here, this is me, right? Go on that interview, feeling, you know, confident, saying, I got this, you know, manifesting it before it even happens. Right?
[00:26:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
How important do you think it is to surround yourself with like minded people as you're trying to get to that space of I can do this, I'm worthy, I'm, you know, I can go crush this goal. How important is it to have that.
[00:26:46] Speaker B: Support circle environment is key. Having that sister Support circle or that spouse that support you. Right. Because they're, they say birds of a feather flock together. Right. So if you, if you're hanging out or surrounding yourself with like minded people who's wanting to grow and level up and do all the things and giving you a pat on the back, right. As you go along, then you're gonna level up, right. You're gonna take your business to the next step or you're gonna step out on faith, you know, versus having someone that's, you know, not doing what you're doing, right. Or saying, girl, you can't do that. Oh, I wish I can do that. Oh no, that's too, that's too much. Or you know, all negative self talk. You will never get to where you go in life.
[00:27:31] Speaker A: Yeah, I always feel like that circle is super important. It doesn't even matter if it's your family. Like you've got to be around people who are uplifting you. And I find that typically when you're around, if you're the person that's doing all the, all of the uplifting or you're in a circle where you constantly have to be that person and you're not receiving it, you feel empty.
[00:27:50] Speaker B: Yes. There's an empty pouring into others, right. And you're not. Nobody's pouring into you. That empty cup, right?
[00:27:56] Speaker A: Yeah. So that's a great question. So you just made me think of something. Who's pouring into you? Because if you are pouring into people on a daily as the work that you do, that has to be super draining for you just to get through your day and the things that you have to do for yourself. So who pours into you?
[00:28:14] Speaker B: I have mentors, life coaches. I'm always reading.
If I'm not reading, I'm on YouTube looking at inspirational motivational clips of reels.
So yeah, it's so important.
And even when I went through my self love journey, I invested in a life coach. One of the best investments I could have made in myself. And I had a therapist, right? I had both. You know, having a therapist and having a life coach is super dope, right? Because you have the best both worlds, right? So my therapist basically helped me unpack the crap, right. That all the shit I had, you know, in my luggage, right? But the life coach actually helped me take that luggage right out to the side of the sidewalk, right. And put it in the garbage, right. And close the lid, right. And walk off diligently and gracefully into my purpose.
[00:29:06] Speaker A: I love that.
[00:29:06] Speaker B: So you gotta have people in your life that's game, Bresha or game, Tamika? Right. You gotta have that. It's important.
[00:29:14] Speaker A: Oh, man. Yeah. I don't think I could go without it because the brain, it will lie to you. It will lie to you and tell you all kinds of things that will have you in the bed with the covers up, the blinds drawn, the whole thing. So, yeah, I think it's super important.
So tell me, has your definition of power evolved over the years since you've been doing the work and just living life as you have?
[00:29:41] Speaker B: Yes.
Peace. Peace, alignment, divine confidence. Right. Even stillness at times, which we rarely do. Right. That stillness.
[00:29:51] Speaker A: Yes.
Stillness is big for me.
As much as I like to try to sleep in, I've gotten to the age where sleeping in is just not an option. I have no idea. I think when you hit a certain age, you just.
I don't know, you just cannot go past a certain, like, 7am or something. But that stillness of getting up around 5:30 feels like the rest of the world is sleeping.
And I have those thoughts and I'm able to stay in that still moment. So. Yeah, and then you said peace. Protecting peace.
It is. I mean, I've been cleaning house and relationships and friendships that are hurtful to clean, but I realize it's all about my peace.
So it's funny, I think at the big age I am now, like, I've just adopted a different attitude that some love and some hate, but is working for me.
[00:30:41] Speaker B: I think as we get older, we do that, right? Yes.
[00:30:45] Speaker A: I'll be honest, it's one of the things I'm looking forward to as I age, because old people don't give a damn.
I want to thank you for that. I'm kind of looking forward to that a little bit.
Okay, let me get back on track here. So what leadership lesson from your time in uniform?
What? Is there something that you have in the military that still guides you every single day?
[00:31:11] Speaker B: Like you said, it's that discipline. Getting up every morning, even when it dwindles out. Right. It comes right back. Right. That discipline. Getting up in the morning, leading with purpose, serving with heart, and also standing in your truth, whatever that looks like for you. Standing in your truth. That's key on all levels, Tamika.
[00:31:30] Speaker A: If somebody is watching this and they're saying, I have got. I need help, maybe they can't afford it, maybe they don't know where to start. What's one thing that they can do just to.
Just to start a process of self healing? Is there something that you could say this will help you start that process.
[00:31:51] Speaker B: I think self reflecting, right?
Self reflecting and self acceptance.
So once you start accepting who you truly are or learning who you truly are, I think that's when you'll be able to peel back the layers, right? And for me, an example, or let's go with the client, right? She wasn't able to set boundaries, right? She had a hard time setting boundaries with her spouse at work, kids, all the things, right?
And we went over. We went through the floss method. But I end up. She end up the takeaway message. She end up learning that no is a complete sentence.
[00:32:38] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:32:39] Speaker B: No justification needed. Say no and walk away if you feel bad about it, right? Just walk away. Just walk away until it feels comfortable. When you start seeing it, often it feels comfortable, but no, it's a complete sentence.
[00:32:52] Speaker A: I often joke with my sister that she should teach a masterclass on setting boundaries. Because when I tell you, she can say no and stop talking. And I'm just like, hey, I don't know who you do that. You can do that with everybody else. You gonna talk to me?
So it's funny. And we laugh. Cause she's been teaching her kids that. And my nephew now, who's 17, he'll do the same thing. And then she's like, wait a minute, now I'm your mom.
You're not gonna just tell me no? So it's funny. Cause it's like, it's super important to truly understand that it's okay to say no without explanation. And I think me, I'm so big on kindness, I want to say no and tell you why I'm saying no.
And so I've been trying to practice the just no. And it doesn't work well for me. I feel bad.
So help me. Help me. How do I do it?
[00:33:40] Speaker B: Not yet. Not yet.
[00:33:41] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:33:42] Speaker B: Not yet.
[00:33:43] Speaker A: I gotta keep working on it.
[00:33:45] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, not yet.
[00:33:48] Speaker A: So you help others build confidence, but what was that moment when you had to build confidence for you?
[00:33:54] Speaker B: I think for me, back in 2024, I had a point in my life where I was just stressed.
Someone hackers tapped into my account, took all my money. It was horrible. I ended up. I got in a car accident. And right afterwards, I had Bell's palsy developed. Bell's palsy, where the whole side of my face was right.
So I had to show up. I still had to show up. I still had to take my daughter to school. I still had to do the things right. And. And for me, like I told you before, I lacked confidence when it came to My body. Right. My birthmark.
So I had to go back and say, okay, you know, and find something inside of me, you know, to say, okay, this is me. Right. This is the moment. Now I can't hide, right. Because it's in my face. I can hide, put on T shirts, all the things, Jacket.
[00:34:46] Speaker A: Right.
[00:34:46] Speaker B: But I can't hide my face. Right. So that was a pivotal moment for me. Right. To rebuild my confidence and say, this is it. And all the stress and all this, everything that I'm going through is a result of this. Right.
So that was one of my defining moments.
[00:35:05] Speaker A: I can only imagine.
I can only imagine because I've seen people deal with that. And so that's big. I mean, I think that's really, really big that you were able to go back into yourself and all the things that you truly believe and get through that, that moment in time.
So what does legacy look like for you? What do you want to see beyond the business, beyond the brand and all of those things?
[00:35:32] Speaker B: Just helping women.
Excuse me. To be able to truly see her self worth. Right. One woman at a time. Right.
[00:35:40] Speaker A: One woman at a time.
[00:35:41] Speaker B: Step into their greatness.
Step into their greatness. And legacy is impact. Right. That outlives Tameka Jones. Right, Right. It's impact.
[00:35:51] Speaker A: Right? Right. So what do you want women to feel when they hear your name?
[00:35:56] Speaker B: Ah. Worthy, love, flawless. Yes.
[00:36:01] Speaker A: I love that. I love that.
What do you hope that your work adds to the larger conversation around women? Leadership and empowerment.
[00:36:11] Speaker B: So I hope the work that I do here on Earth redefines womanhood through their worthiness. Right? Worthiness.
Them discovering who they are. Right.
[00:36:22] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:23] Speaker B: So. Yeah.
Yeah.
[00:36:25] Speaker A: Well, coming up next is overtime, quick hits. No timeouts. We're going to have some fun with Tamika in the lightning round.
Hold up. We're just getting started. More truth, more strategy, and less bs. Coming up next on Be Better Than youn BS right here on NOW Media Television.
This is Be Better Than youn BS with Resha Grant. And around here, we get rid of the bs.
Welcome back to Be Better Than youn bs. Don't miss a second of this show or any of your NOW Media TV favorites. Streaming live and on demand whenever and wherever you want. Grab the free Now Media TV app on Roku or iOS and enjoy instant access to our lineup of bilingual programs in both English and Spanish. Prefer podcast. Listen to Be Better than your BS anytime on the Now Media TV website at www.nowmedia.tv covering business, breaking news, lifestyle, culture, and more. Now Media TV is available 24, 7 so the stories you care about are always within reach. We've covered the pregame, the big plays and the lessons. Now it's time for overtime, the lightning round, quick hits, no timeouts, all fun. Tameka, what is your personal culture statement? The vibe you bring when you walk in and the impact you leave when you walk out.
[00:37:50] Speaker B: Unapologetically authentic faith forward, bold impact guaranteed.
[00:37:57] Speaker A: Love that.
What's your go to power move when you need to shift your energy fast?
[00:38:05] Speaker B: Prayer, meditation, of course.
Playlist. My playlist also. Mel Robbins theory. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 theory, right?
[00:38:15] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. I love Mel Robins work.
What's your favorite mantra or affirmation that gets you in boss mode?
[00:38:24] Speaker B: Everything is working out for my greater good, no matter how it looks.
Everything is working out for your greater good, no matter how it looks.
[00:38:34] Speaker A: That is one of mine too. And I also like to say things are working.
Things are happening for me, not to me.
So I try to. I try to tell myself that, especially in those moments where I'm just like, you know, ready to take out my rage on anybody. Anybody within two feet of me. So who inspires you to keep showing up when the work gets heavy?
[00:38:56] Speaker B: My daughter, Sky. She reminds me that purpose is generational, Right?
[00:39:01] Speaker A: Yes. Nothing does it like kids or family or people that, you know you need to act right in front of.
[00:39:08] Speaker B: Right?
Yes. Every day. Yes. A reminder, Constant reminder. Yes, ma'. Am.
[00:39:13] Speaker A: Yes.
What's the biggest misconception about confidence?
[00:39:19] Speaker B: That confidence has to be loud, bold, big, Right. It's peace right in your presence. That's what confidence is.
[00:39:27] Speaker A: That was such a good answer. Because I do think when we think about confidence, we think loud, we think bold, we think we got to walk in the room and own it by being loud.
And I also think it's a cultural thing as well.
So I love that you said it's.
It's not that at all. I think that's a huge takeaway.
What's one bold decision that made you, that changed everything for you?
[00:39:54] Speaker B: Saying yes to me and setting those boundaries changed everything for me.
[00:39:59] Speaker A: Did saying yes to you feel like, feel selfish?
[00:40:04] Speaker B: No, it felt like self love. It felt like finally felt like.
[00:40:10] Speaker A: I mean, prior to you being able to say yes, is that why you had a difficult time, was because it felt selfish or you felt like you didn't have the time to invest in you?
[00:40:21] Speaker B: No, I was just conditioned. Right. Just to give, to serve, to give, to give, to give.
But saying yes to myself right, first changed me because once again, like we was talking about before, you can't pour into all these other cups, right.
When your cup is depleted, right?
[00:40:39] Speaker A: Very true.
Okay. You talked about a playlist. So if your journey had a theme song, what would it be?
[00:40:49] Speaker B: Maybe Alicia Keys, Girl on Fire. Right, okay. Because all my life, right, I was the gasoline, right? And my journey is the wood, the sticks. So I kept pouring gasoline, right.
On the sticks, but nothing would happen, right? What happens when you pour gasoline on sticks, wood?
Nothing. Right. But until you light that fire, right, that's when you're gonna get that explosion, right?
[00:41:13] Speaker A: I love that. I was hoping you was gonna say a rap song so I could have rapped it because I cannot sing.
[00:41:19] Speaker B: You gotta sing it.
[00:41:21] Speaker A: I will not embarrass myself like that on tv, but I absolutely love that song.
If you could give every woman one piece of advice about resilience, what would that be?
[00:41:37] Speaker B: What you believe in your mind. Whatever you believe in your mind, right.
Shapes your reality, right? You hold the keys to that, right?
So whatever you believe, if I believe, I'm a renowned international speaker, guess what? That's going to shape my reality, right? And I'm going to take inspire action towards that, because that's what I believe, right.
[00:42:02] Speaker A: It's crazy that you said that. You know, that's something that I have said probably almost daily for the last 20 years. It took about 10 years to actually materialize, but I've said it. I say that. I say, you know, I'm a best selling author again, those things happen. But the level of time, and I had a friend say to me, do you really think that works? Like, can you really honestly say it works? I said, well, in my mind I thought, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But if it helps, I can just say it every day because it makes me feel better and to see it actually happen. And I tell people all the time, I mean, it's just, it's a long haul game. It's not a, it's not a sprint, it's a marathon. But it actually, it actually happened.
It actually happened. You just can't look at the calendar.
So.
[00:42:51] Speaker B: Right. And really quick. Also think about the Wright brothers, right? With them, with the father, aviation, right? How they, everybody laughed at them, but they're. The bicycle and all the, you know, all the things they had, right? But they put that thought right? They had a thought, they had an idea, they put it on paper, right? And they went back every time and they ate, breathe, sleep, all the things right?
With them building this airplane, right?
[00:43:18] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:43:19] Speaker B: And years later, years later, Right. They were the father of aviation. They did it. Everybody thought they were crazy, right?
[00:43:25] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:43:25] Speaker B: But they didn't give up. Right. And they kept going back to the drawing board and taking inspired actions and believing that they were going to be the father of aviation.
[00:43:33] Speaker A: Yes. And inspired action. Those two words. Inspired action. And it's funny you bring them up because whenever they come up in conversation, I'm always just, I have so much respect for them because you had to build that thing and then you had to be the first one to actually get there and do it. And so I always wonder what their days were like when it comes up. And it's funny because you're like, who's really thinking about the Wright brothers? But when it comes up, it is something. I'm just like, you got to give them mad respect for riding a bike with wings off the side of a mountain. So anyway, what does winning look like for you? Not just in business, but in life.
[00:44:13] Speaker B: What does winning look like? What does winning look like?
Peace, freedom and legacy.
Yeah, legacy. My ultimate one. Right. And just giving back service.
[00:44:28] Speaker A: Okay. What's one, one non negotiable habit that keeps you grounded and growing?
[00:44:35] Speaker B: Oh, morning Affirmations and prayer.
Gratitude journal. I try to do that every day. I don't get to it every day, but just, just being grateful and grateful in the moment. Right. And just, just, you know, thinking source, God, whoever, you know, you serve or whoever.
Just thinking God for what he's done, what he's doing, and what he's, you know, gonna do. Right?
[00:45:02] Speaker A: Yeah. I think it's super important to find something to be thankful for, especially in those, those darkest moments where you just feel like everything's against you, everybody, everything in the world. You feel like whatever you believe in is not there. But being able to find something to be thankful for, it begins to shift the tide in your mind, you know, about what's possible.
So. Sounds really small, but it's actually a really big thing.
When doubt tries to sneak in, what's the first thing you do to shut it down?
[00:45:37] Speaker B: I say that. I say to myself, everything that I could ever want and have or need is already inside of me.
I just have to tap into it, activate it, and bring it forth. Right.
A lot of times we think or, you know, you want to fix somebody. Oh, they need to fix it. No, they need. No, I mean fixing.
[00:45:58] Speaker A: Right.
[00:45:59] Speaker B: They are who they are. They just have to birth what's inside of them. Right. Just need to activate it.
[00:46:04] Speaker A: Yes, yes. And finding that activation, that's the key to that accessing that activation.
[00:46:11] Speaker B: Right.
[00:46:12] Speaker A: If you could leave every woman with one unshakable truth about her power, what would it be?
[00:46:21] Speaker B: I think it goes hand in hand to what I was just saying. It's not about fixing, fixing yourself. Right.
You was never broken. I was never broken. Right. I just needed to tap into that and focus on creating more of what I love. Right, Right.
[00:46:37] Speaker A: Okay.
And the biggest personal win you've had, that nobody saw, but it changed everything for you.
[00:46:44] Speaker B: Investing in that life coach.
You know, helping me, helping me get through the shit. Right. And, you know. Yeah, that was the biggest. Yeah. And healing quietly. Right. Sometimes you want to tell people and tell our friends and, you know, sometimes that'll set us back. Right? That will set you back.
Because not everybody who say they are in your corner are actually in your corner. Especially when you healed from trauma or especially when you bonded from trauma because, you know, there's trauma bonds and there's healing bonds. Right. So not everybody wants you to go there. They want you to stay in that trauma, that trauma bond. So, yeah, just invest in the life coach.
[00:47:20] Speaker A: And that's super important because you can get into a relationship with somebody.
I did this before. That's really bonded with trauma and not with anything else. And then when you begin to heal, you like, what am I doing with this person?
So it's so important to be aware, Be aware of that.
If your younger self could see you right now, what do you think she'd say?
[00:47:45] Speaker B: Sis, you finally became the woman you needed when you was younger.
[00:47:50] Speaker A: Wow. That's powerful.
That is powerful. So tell me one thing you want people to feel in their soul after being in your presence.
[00:48:03] Speaker B: To feel like they're seen right and heard and worthy and also limitless because you are limitless.
[00:48:11] Speaker A: Yes.
Yeah, yeah. So much power in those words. Tameka, thank you so much.
Your insights have been incredible. Where can people follow your word? Join your program, stay connected with you?
[00:48:24] Speaker B: My website is www.flawlesslifecoaching.com. also social media, all things is flawless Life coaching on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, LinkedIn. Did I say LinkedIn? LinkedIn. So flawless life coaching to find me.
[00:48:41] Speaker A: On all of those platforms, Y', all, go find Tameka.
Get your soul right and go find her. Listen, that right there was pure soul work wrapped in power and grace. Tameka Jones showed us what happens when discipline meets purpose and self. Love becomes your superpower. She's not just coaching women. She's unlocking their brilliance. And she reminded us that confidence isn't something you wait on it's something you decide to own. The world may try to tell you what you can't do, but your personal culture gets to tell it what's possible.
So here's your reminder. Resilience isn't just about bouncing back. It's about standing up taller than you were before. To everyone watching, bet on yourself flawlessly.
